When I was younger, I developed terrible eczema on my hands, arms and in some parts of my scalp. It was like every mechanism in my body was just out of control and raging. In order to get things back in order, my dermatologist gave me a host of medicines to take. Creams, lotions, scalp solutions, steroids and a strong antibiotic.
The antibiotic was a large, circular pill with a thick coating. I was instructed not to cut it in half or dissolve it before taking. It had to be taken every morning, before I went to school. I had a terrible fear of taking large pills, and this one was definitely falling into that category. I saw it as this big horsepill that would be incredibly hard to swallow. My dad would take his morning vitamin pack at the same time to assure me that all would be fine after I got it down.
There were mornings when I let the pill sit in my mouth so long, the thick coating would start to dissolve and I would be late to school. Then I realized the incredible benefit of taking the medication. My skin would be clear and smooth again. Eventually I managed to work up the courage to get the pills down each morning, with no problems.
This reminds me a lot of the “horsepills” we encounter in our lives at times. In my life there have been things I have had to accept that have been extremely hard to deal with. Whether it was a life decision, mistakes, missed opportunities or just an unfavorable situation…there have been instances where I have played a part in an outcome, and I had to accept my fate.
It’s a natural human response to not want to admit your part in something, or to not fully recognize how something may have been a result of your decisions. Maybe it’s a part of the human preservation mindset. However, this behavior also stunts your growth.
It’s easy to put on a poker face, to yourself, and not acknowledge that something took place because of you. Who wants to point the finger at themselves? It’s definitely a hard pill to swallow. But trust me when I say, the reward is so worth it.
Acknowledging your part not only frees you from any lingering guilt or shame, but it also clears the pathway for more goodness to come your way. You will have a clear conscience. You don’t have to beat yourself up. You don’t have to be a prisoner to shame. You can move freely and not bear the weight of past decisions. You can truly learn, grow, and move on.
So, go ahead and get a nice tall glass of water, or your preferred beverage, and swallow that horsepill. Wash it down good. Eat some bread afterwards to push it along. Lean in to how it feels to own your part. Relish the moment and feel damn good about it. Know that this is for your benefit and your growth.
Cheers my friends!